Reflection

I went to mass on Wednesday morning. Ash Wednesday.
Alone.
The first time in 3 years that I've attended church without a child in tow.
I truly realised how much energy goes into monitoring him, even when he's being 'good'

Not the most uplifting time of the year:

Remember man, that thou art dust, and unto dust thou shalt return

But a time for reflection.

And to me, that's what Church is about. Not your relationship with God. That's deeply personal. And you may or may not have one.
But a time set aside to listen, and reflect on your own behaviour and ethics, and to choose to make some changes. That's of value to everyone, no matter what their faith or creed.

I thought about Lent. Forty days in preparation for Easter. A time to sacrifice something.

The easy choices: sweets (I need to lose weight anyway), coffee (harder, but I can do it).
But... if they're easy to give up, then that isn't really a sacrifice.

I needed to choose to give up something 'hard', something that I would struggle over, and something that would make me a better person.

So this Easter, I'm sacrificing my temper.

Doesn't sound like much of a sacrifice. But you try living with a creatively destructive 3-year-old.

The work is in progress. I managed the coffee sugar in the ice crusher, the milk trail from the couch to the freezer (I wanted to make milk iceblocks, Mama), and throwing sugar packets around the ice-cream parlour. But I did lose it, when I came upon the defrosting raspberries crushed over table, floor and child.

But I have bitten my tongue, refrained from shouting, and used calm, measured consequences for outrageous behaviour.

And offered up my sacrifice to the Lord.