Reflection

I went to mass on Wednesday morning. Ash Wednesday.
Alone.
The first time in 3 years that I've attended church without a child in tow.
I truly realised how much energy goes into monitoring him, even when he's being 'good'

Not the most uplifting time of the year:

Remember man, that thou art dust, and unto dust thou shalt return

But a time for reflection.

And to me, that's what Church is about. Not your relationship with God. That's deeply personal. And you may or may not have one.
But a time set aside to listen, and reflect on your own behaviour and ethics, and to choose to make some changes. That's of value to everyone, no matter what their faith or creed.

I thought about Lent. Forty days in preparation for Easter. A time to sacrifice something.

The easy choices: sweets (I need to lose weight anyway), coffee (harder, but I can do it).
But... if they're easy to give up, then that isn't really a sacrifice.

I needed to choose to give up something 'hard', something that I would struggle over, and something that would make me a better person.

So this Easter, I'm sacrificing my temper.

Doesn't sound like much of a sacrifice. But you try living with a creatively destructive 3-year-old.

The work is in progress. I managed the coffee sugar in the ice crusher, the milk trail from the couch to the freezer (I wanted to make milk iceblocks, Mama), and throwing sugar packets around the ice-cream parlour. But I did lose it, when I came upon the defrosting raspberries crushed over table, floor and child.

But I have bitten my tongue, refrained from shouting, and used calm, measured consequences for outrageous behaviour.

And offered up my sacrifice to the Lord.

Writer's Block

I was all excited about writing a new blog.

This one was to be for me.

To talk about the things that I was interested in.

And to explore some of the stuff that's going on in my head.

You know, one of the hardest things about being a solo mum is that there's no one to talk to (well, apart from the 3-year-old - and those conversations, while having their own skewed appeal, aren't exactly deeply significant)

So, I:

• Thought about it in the car while driving Mitchell to a park (accompanied by the soundtrack to "Bob the Builder")
• Researched blog names - while Mitchell was having his nap (Please God, let afternoon naps continue for as long as possible, they're a life-saver for this Mama)
• Played around with the design - all those pretty, pretty, options are way too time consuming....
  
• Got called away to deal with grumpy just-woken-up-child, and snack, and immediately-required-trip-to-the-library (since books were due today), and laundry, and dinner, and cleaning-up-disgusting-mess child has made in Mama's bedroom (you do not want to know), and scolding, and bath, and cuddles and songs and bed.....

Then, I leave the dishes in the sink (told you I avoided housework), and I come back into my desperately-needs-sorting-out office to write my first post, and am lost for words.
How can you have writer's block with your first post?

Perhaps I need to write down my goals - that's what all the serious planning books tell you (I used to do this stuff for a living, what's happened to me!)

• I will write in this blog at least once a week.
• I will not over-think my blog posts. Whatever is going on in my head will be my subject.
• I will not try to be balanced and objective. This is my perspective. Deal with it.
• I won't identify anyone else in this blog - anonymity for guilty and innocent alike.